The last year has brought many changes in our home including good friends leaving our church, my husband completing his Master's Degree, I began a part-time job, a new baby and a very recent move. I am ready to give up and put my daughters (5 and 8 years old) in public school because I feel very overwhelmed. I could use some ideas to deal with a child who hates school, she would rather play and read. When I ask her to come and sit down to do a subject, she runs away and hides. Anyone have encouragement on how to get through this?

Hi. You said that your child likes to read. The first thing that came to mind is reading together and trying to incorporate teaching different subjects within the context of the book. An example would be the Five In A Row Series. Having a child who likes to read is a great thing. She may not like to actually sit at a table and do "school" but I bet she can learn just as much by pulling out different subjects from a book. Just a suggestion.
Beth

Hi. I think the hardest part about homeschooling is getting past the "school" part. They are learning 24/7 not just during the school day. We forget that we have the wonderful opportunity to individualize our child's learning environment. I agree with the reply ahead of me about starting with reading together. I pray that you become encouraged and don't think you are alone. Please visit the http://www.SBCHEA.org site. There is a wealth of information and a wonderful discussion group there as well. God Bless.

Have you asked that chil what she wants to learn and how she wants to learn it?

Christine

Currently I use Abeka curriculum for Math and History. Write Away for Language Arts and Science I have been buying different hands-on- kits. She read the History book in a matter of days.
Over the last 2 months, we have tried a variety of approaches. I would put together lessons and she could work at her own discretion as long as she finished the work in the week. She is not discplined enough for that. We tried adding variety to the day with cooking and teaching her younger sister which she likes as long as she doesn't need to sit and learn a new math concept or do a page in her book.
My husband suggested that since she likes to read... finding a book that talks about math, but I haven't been able to find anything out there, especially at her level. With our busy schedules, I need to have a structured curriculum to make sure that I can meet the state's requirements and it does not take tons of prep work on my part.

Thank you very much for your input and advice. I really do appreciate it. This is our 4th year homeschooling. In the past, I had some really supportive friends, but our paths have drifted apart and I really don't have anyone to lean on.

Dear Pastorswife,

I remember feeling so isolated (knowing no other homeschoolers) that I would go to the park and practically beg people to talk to me! Only half-kidding, but it's hard to find people who share your values and vision.
God used those times of feeling alone, however, to call me closer to Him.
Anyone else experience this?
Christine

I remember when my son (my oldest) was about 7 years old. He has always been my biggest challenge, and around this time things had gotten really, really hard. He didn't want to cooperate with me on anything, school or otherwise. I was SO frustrated and really had no one I could talk to about it. I remember one day something happened, I don't even know what it was, but I was totally frustrated and didn't know what to do next. I was so upset with him I was in tears. I remember I went in the bathroom (the only place in the house where I could be alone), sat down on the floor and cried (literally), "God, I can't do this anymore!" And it was like this calm came over me, and I heard (in my heart) God say "No, you can't. But I can, if you'll get out of my way." Wow! What an eye-opener! I learned that day that it was not my job to "do it on my own", it was only my job to allow God to use me to raise my children the way He called me to do. I came out of the bathroom with a whole new outlook on things. The problems didn't go away, but my way of approaching them did, and it has made a world of difference!

As for a child not wanting to sit down and do a lesson, that was my son all the way! So he didn't (often), and I didn't usually try to make him. But he did learn. We practiced math facts while he was jumping on his pogo-stick, or hoping up and down the stairs. When he wanted to read, he would climb a tree with his book, or lay on the couch upside down (body on the couch, head on the floor). It look very uncomfortable to me, but it worked for him. He did a lot of his written work on a chalkboard or marker board. It was easier for him to write BIG than small, and if I let him use different colors that was even better. It takes a little more time to make these modifications, but it was well worth it! And after a while it becomes second nature so it really doesn't take any longer, and definitely doesn't take any longer than the struggles I had before.

If your child likes to read, I say let her read! Go to the library every week and let her check out as many books as she wants, as long as she will read them (any books you approve of, of course). I think that was most of our history and science for almost all of elementary school, and my kids have done great in those subjects on standardized tests. Let her "do math" instead of doing worksheets. There's a lot of math in cooking, sewing, crafts, playing games, etc. We used to have game day once a month and that's all we would do for school. The kids loved it, it was a break for me, but they were still learning.

Lori

I have been right where you are. Actually, I am overwhelmed right now and my son is 12. I am overwhelmed in a different way, but when I hear you talk about your younger children. I remember crying out to God. Why me, Lord. But, I had strong conviction to not put them in public school. I would tell myself -
Public school is a war zone. Will my son have his spiritual armour on?
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I will be so glad when he is grown and he is spiritually mature and can read.
I mean really what good does it do if he can read and he never has that relationship with Jesus Christ.
In the first grade, I was so afraid that I would be a failure, and my son was so determined to not learn. I finally got mean. He would pretend he couldn't read the word "The". When trying to make it fun didn't work, when doing all the hooked on phonics and different curriculums didn't work, I just got mean. It wore me out. But ------- he can read out of the KJV Bible like a college grad. It was terribly hard and upsetting, but it worked. At the end of the day, I tried to have some pleasant times, reward, and tell his dad how well he did in front of him. I hope this helps. This is not an easy job, actually it is the hardest job I have ever had. The money is not to good either. But the reward is and will be.

I have this theory...

Seems a lot of my conversations on homeschooling start with that thought.

But...I have this theory that third grade is the make it or break it year for a lot of students. When I talk to someone and find out their favorite teacher or the year they really started hating math, 80% of the time I hear "that was in third grade."

If you look closely at ABeka, their first and second grade math courses are very different from their third grade course. The difference is hard to pin down, just a sudden leap in complexity maybe. But if your student's mind hasn't made that leap yet, you'll be trying to cut through a coconut with a plastic knife.

Little, Brown has a book called "I Hate Mathematics!" and another one called "Math for Smarty Pants" that are great fun. "Arithmetricks" might help her get over something stumping her. Reciting times tables while jumping on the trampoline or jumping rope is a WHOLE lot more fun than sitting at a table! Even something fun like tangrams is math. Or, pick up a copy of "Family Math" at the library and play some games! Math is too much fun to be confined to a book and a pencil!

Thank you all for your advice, ideas and encouragement. I am going to investigate and try some new things out. Last year when I was checking out curriculum, I really didn't take the time. Our large Homeschool Convention was being held about two months after the new baby was born and we did not go. I just opted to use what I had in the past. I am excited to see what positive changes will take place as I approach things differently.

thepastorswife,
I just found this article. I thought of you when I was reading it.

http://www.resourcefulhomeschooler.com/files/DaveAlbertMath1Article.html

Oooh, Anji, that was a fabulous article! Some great book recommendations.
Why can't we just seem to relax and enjoy learning?

Christine

Your girls are so young, reading is the MOST important thing you could be doing with them. I recently read the book by Jim Trelease, The Read Aloud Handbook. It contains the most amazing information about how simply reading to your children can dramatically improve academic success. AND (the best part) he explains WHY reading works such wonders. Give yourself a break. Take a breath. And read the book. I pray it will be as encouraging to you as it was to me.
Blessings,
Debbie