My 13 week workshop has been cancelled. The bookstore that I was to hold them at was bought out. I can't use their space. The marketing material I paid money for is sitting in bags behind their cash counter. They didn't even put the marketing out as promised!


Don't tell me to scramble to find new space. Finding this one took months. I'm angry at God right now, and besides, if he closed this door, why would I wrestle with him?

I don't understand when I felt led by God to do this and seemingly opened this door, and while he put me into this ministry, why I'm getting no where. All my plans seem to be failing. I know he teaches us lessons, tests us, gives us disappointment to develop our character, but when is enough enough? When do we assume we are on the wrong path?

God is in control. He taught me this week that often even when we are seeking to do his will, we are faced with adversity.

Of course God knew this store was about to close, and yet he allowed me to take the steps anyway. Of course he is putting me through some kind of test or trial.

He is in control and I merely follow. The best way if you ask me. Sometimes we never know what the end result will be, it is the obedience that matters. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I obeyed what I heard him tell me to do. Being angry is a normal human reaction. He says to be angry but sin not. That is what I've tried to do since this news.

iprayforjoy,

I'm sorry to hear about your "let down"...

However, I am wondering if maybe God was testing your willingness to "go for something big, just for His glory", and if so, you came out victoriously, as you followed Him.

And, even though this door was closed for some reason, I think that God may choose to open another door of ministry for you when the "timing" is just right.

And, yes, life is hard, but praise God, we can always know that He is "in control, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us" ...

In Christ's Love,

Jennifer

ipfj,

I wanted to let you know I am still praying for your ministry. You asked earlier how we know whether or not we are going down the wrong path?

One of the things that happened to me was closed doors. I was not allowed to write and teach curriculum though I had shared and proven myself a competent teacher and student of God's Word. Then, God started to kindle some passions in me that were not encouraged in the denomination I was leading ministry in... to top it off, adversity came against the entire body and it frustrated me to see possible answers and opportunities for us to grow as a congregation only to be laughed at, denied and betrayed.

I would later realize this was all a part of God's changing my heart- He spoke gently to me during those times and reassured me that it was not the response of others that was important. In those days I had to press in hard, my family and I made a change that was difficult for us all. It was fast- and it was sure. I had to trust my husband to be the voice of reason because my emotions were all muddied up.

So, we did just what God showed us and took each step of faith along the way certain His will was being done and a new position and blessing was just around the corner.

We prayed, we pursued, we acted. We saw none of what we expected. One opportunity closed and yet another. My husband's heart grew hard and all the while I was pressing hard into the Word and prayer seeking a direction, an answer and some sort of confirmation that we had not missed God. That is when it came. In a heart felt prayer- "Wait for the appointed time."

I had a deep sense this type of waiting was not being still, but instead actively doing what I knew in my heart He had given me a passion and a heart to do. All of it done in preparation for an appointed time. All of it done to know God more and more. None of it reaping a harvest of physical fruit, but producing a harvest of spiritual abundance that would carry me through my season of waiting. And I have done it for the last 9 months, faithfully and diligently. I have been sowing, at times in tears, and reaping in laughter. Each step requires me to have more faith in what is not yet, rather than what is. The one thing I have learned, if it depends on what I'm doing it may not necessarily be of God. But, when I stay behind Him I most certainly will find Him no matter where the path may lead. Be Blessed.