I'll try to make this brief. I have a neighbor that I'm just getting to know. I'd say we are becoming friends she's shared things with me in confidence etc... I have used her as a reliable sitter ( I usually do not use a sitter but after having Sophia this summer I've really needed help ) We talk about kids , family , gardening and health.
When I meet people I often have a fun time finding out why God brought us together for mutual benefit.

I will add I don't know if she knows the Lord personally ~ she is a very kind hearted young lady. She and her husband have not been able to start a family and she would be a great mom. She cares for her regular baby sitting kids as though her own.

Her dh has a nephew that really needs help! He is now an adolescent 13- 14 yo Currently been home from ps for how long ?? but apparently has had so much trouble in school the parents ( that have a lot of personal problems ) decided it was easier to get permission to hs their two kids but they really haven't been doing anything of the kind! The boy in particular is the classic angry guy involved in a gang type lifestyle coming and going from the home as he pleases etc..

Anyway my friend and her dh have a strategic position in the boy's life as he has often expressed that he wished the dh was his dad ~ truly respecting him and being responsive to a stable home life that included plenty of discipline when visiting for long periods.

The boys parents have asked this couple to take their boy I believe in a legal adoption process.

My friend wants to do this but it will largely be up to her to get the boy to do his school work as a hs. I agreed with them that they should hs him as he is so behind reading at a low level etc.. and the behavioral issues cause me alarm. If he were to be put into school he would certainly fall in with the wrong crowd! They will only have a few years with him as he'll be of age in the matter of 4 years.

There is much I could go on to say I sat on the phone for a long time just verbally working out all the implications of such a responsibility, but the bottom line is if this boy is to be reached now is probably one of the last windows of time to really try.


So anyway if anyone has any ideas or resources that I could pass on to them that would be great.

Wow, Cinda, this is a tough call and one that certainly needs to be bathed in prayer! Have you thought about contacting Focus on the Family? I believe they have some counsilors that might help or have some resources available for such a situtation. Dr.Kevin Leman is a Christian psychologist that may have some advice for your friend. I usually avoid psychologists but in this case, a Christian man such as Dr. Leman or James Dobson & Company might be called for.
I know this doesn't help much... I'll try to come up with something better.

Hi Cinda!
Welcome to the board! I hope you feel welcome here and come back often.
This is a tough situation. I have personally known of two such situations - one went well and one was a disaster!
There are many factors here, some of which involve LAW. I am a non-practicing attorney, but cannot presume to give legal advice here, but I would strongly urge this couple to get legal advice AS WELL as phychological advice. There are issues of parental consent here, as well as complying with local law. It's much more complex that "taking someone else's kid."
Much of our personal experience in similar situations has been within the foster care system (although we haven't had a foster kid for a while) and while it would probably be much easier to craft an agreement OUTSIDE the foster system, it is still essential that they have some kind of formal agreement with these parents. It's one thing to take someone's kid for the summer. It's another to take over primary responsibility for their education.
Cinda, if you would like to give them my email addy, I would be happy to chat with them personally and perhaps point them in the right direction.
My prayers go out to you and your friends!
Christine

Just wanted to follow up on this.
The last several week this couple has tried to contact that family by phone and haven't been able to reach them so they really don't know what's going on.

They are now being faced with making a decision about wether to care for an elderly grandma in their home. My friend is a trained nursing attendant. Another big decision. They are also trying some new means to help their fertility issues. Nothing easy for them. huh!