I want to start a discussion about how we are managing our teenagers. How do you keep them motivated to do their schoolwork? What kinds of consequences do you use to encourage good behavior?

Let's share our ideas!

Blessings,

Christine

www.HomeFieldAdvantage.org

Oh, boy! Have I ever got teens! Three-and-a-half of them 12-1/2, 14, 16 & 18 (and 12-yr-olds think they're teens, right?) This is a great thread! I hope all of you have lots of great ideas to share.

When my kids were younger, all I ever heard from most people was "just wait until they're teenagers", and groans about how difficult/challenging/horrible teenagers could be. Sometimes I was scared just thinking about having four teens at the same time! But now that we're there, I'm happy to report that it isn't what I expected at all. Yes, we have challenges. Yes, they can be difficult (but so can I). But overall, I can honestly say that I love having teenagers! My kids are great, and I am very much enjoying this stage of our parenting.

As for motivating them, I think communication goes a long way! I try to talk to them honestly, and more importantly, to listen to them. Even when we disagree, I think they are much more willing to do as I ask when they know that I really am listening to their point of view. Really, I very rarely have to "pull rank", and most of the time we're able to work things out by just talking thru it. As for consequences, I think logical ones work best. If they don't do their school work, they can't get on the computer. If they don't clean their room, they can't see their friends. If chores aren't done, they give up their free time. Then it's their choice. They can choose to not use the computer, to not see their friends, to not have any free time; or they can choose to do what needs to be done. Either way, I'm not the "bad guy". I think it gives them a sense of control, but within limits, which I think is important with teens.

What I've learned does NOT work is lecturing them, talking down to them, or treating them like "little kids". I wish I could say I've never done those things, but I'm sorry to say that I have. And it doesn't work!