Hi All!

It has been a very long time since I've been here, up until a couple of weeks ago.
Guess I'll start by re posting what I posted then in a diff section of the forum. It will bring you somewhat up to date with me and then I will add at the end why I have come back today for help in the way of prayer and advice on how to handle an adult son addict.

Here tis:

Posted August 06, 2008 10:31 AM
"Just happened to think of you all this morning and thought I'd stop in and say hello. You may not even remember me, but I've been a member here since 2004 I believe. Came here regularly during a couple of different seasons and haven't been back in quite a while!
Though I don't have time to do a full on update...I can hit the highlights:

1. I returned home to my husband after having been gone for 1 1/2 years. Things are good. We still are hitting some of the same bumps, but the difference now is that my husband is willing to hear me and work on things. We are seeing a counselor which has helped indeed.

2. Though I've never even known anyone in jail, our 19 yr old son ended up there almost 4 months ago. Long story short. He'd become addicted to Vicodin and decided to go into a "friends" (a drug dealer who actually went to the same christian high school that our kids did - eek) house while he was gone to help himself to Vicodin. Before my son could even find what he was looking for the friend came home, caught him. Our son turned himself in. We thought he'd be in jail for 24-48 hours.
Almost 4 months later and being convicted a felony, he is now in mandated drug rehab. Beautiful thing of it all is that not one day has gone by during these 4 months that he has not been in the Word. His heart has most definitely changed, but he freely admits that he is afraid more of going back to cigarettes and being tempted by alcohol.
Please pray for him. He is a truly wonderful young man who has had some hard stuff in life.
I have great faith in what God will continue to do in his life.

3. Our 21 yr old daughter is still at home. She seems to be drifting further and further from the Lord. Will have to have a talk with her this evening as she did not drag in until almost 2:30 am last night. That is not ok. She just seems to be aimlessly wandering right now, though she continues to hold down her job of 2 yrs just fine, but so concerned about her distance from the Lord. Would love prayer for her too.

4. I am working fulltime for the first time in my life and loving it (most of the time Smile) I am so blessed to get to work at a Christian organization with such beautiful people! The owners are brothers, Bobby and Kevin Downes (you may have heard of them) who are Producers. Kevin also does some acting. We're an online Christian Media spot. We have latest Christian News, etc. and we are the largest Christian DVD online store on the planet as far as we know.
I don't know if it's ok for me to mention the name of it here, so I'm sorry in advance if this is a no no. Feel free to remove if it is.
It is www.christiancinema.com

5. I hope that you are all continuing to walk with and grow in our sweet Lord! I have been re-watching my online videos of "Living Beyond Yourself" lately. Watched the first 2 segments of Session 8 this morning. So fabulous!
A reminder that God has given us a faith that can conquer kingdoms and how he wants to turn weaklings into mighty Warriors! Such good stuff...good, solid truth!

I'm off to work now. Bless each of you. I mean that sincerely!"

Mindy

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mindy66,

Since that posting, our son has returned home from treatment. He was only here with me for 1 full day and then he went up to the mountains to meet up with my husband for a trip.
The distressing part for me was that though I know that I know that I know that he is a good, loving young man, he also has the other side of him which is someone who struggles greatly with anger control.
When I re-informed him that the 3 friends he was hanging out with before going to jail would not be welcome in or at our home, he said he understood about 1 and maybe 2 of the 3 friends, but the other he said hasn't done any drinking or drugs of any kind all summer long and thinks he'd actually be a good influence right now. He asked if he could please pleeeease either go and see him or have him over. I said, "No, he cannot come over and no you cannot go over there. You no longer have a car to drive, remember? If you want Dad and I to reconsider this friend, know that I am NOT going to make any such decision without Dad. Also, I'd really appreciate it if for just 1 day and night you could just spend it with your sister and I and not go anywhere or have anyone over as we've not been with you for almost 5 months."
Though quiet for a few seconds, he got very very angry at my not bending and standing firm. He basically was not getting his way.
He came unglued and infuriated at me and had to get out of the house to go on a walk because he was so mad.
Though I've seen sincerity in his eyes regarding his love for the Lord and his determination to stay clean, he still has this major anger problem that I have no idea what to do with other than letting him know that if it continues he'll be asked to leave our home. This possibility saddens me beyond belief as I have lost the last 2 years of his life. I so desperately wanted the opportunity to have just a bit more time with him as a "family" all in the same household, even if is only a few months. One last chance before he goes off into the world on his own.
Do any of you have addict children? If so, how, exactly to you set up boundaries with them.
What should the boundaries be and what should the consequences be if they breach?
I have never been through anything like this in my life and am in uncharted territory.
My husband and son are to return either Sunday or Monday and I will have to talk to my husband about our sons Wed. behavior.

Though I have and love the Lord, I am constantly fighting anxiety over this whole thing. I am uneducated and at a bit of a loss here and am here to ask if you, my sisters would be willing to pray for us as we enter into yet another chapter of our journey as a family.

Thank you!!
Mindy

Too sleepy to reply as I'd like, but want you to know you are not alone. Praying for you and your family. The enemy would love to keep you trapped in your anxiety, so just remember what you're supposed to do with it: Philippians 4. Press in and pray and tell the enemy to "Talk to The Hand."

Mindy, it is so good to see you again! Wish I had words of His wisdom re: your son. But you...and he...are in my prayers...

Love,
Alyson

Hi Alyson and "tntkart" .

So good to hear from "old" friends.

Thank you so much for being willing to pray. Don't have time for an update, but things have certainly been challenging. Since I last wrote, our almost 22 yr old daughter moved out. It was a good thing. It was time. We're all on speaking terms, however, we are very concerned about her lifestyle. Very! Please pray that God will protect her from the enemy as well as from her own stupidity. She needs to turn back to the Lord, but this is her choice. So hard to watch!

Bless you sweet ladies!
Mindy

Mindy, seeing anyone you love "go prodigal" is so painful!

An older saint was in our Sunday School class last spring. Her story was very much like yours (and mine). She kept praying for her sweet girl...kept praying...kept praying. And her daughter not only "came around", but became a pastor. And a good one; she was a pastor at our church for five years, till she and her husband left to start a new ministry in another city at an age when most folks start thinking about retiring.

I asked the mom how long she kept praying, because my own daughter was wandering at the time.

"Fourteen years!" she told me.

But it wasn't quite that long for me. My girl is 22 like yours. After five years that were painfully long, He prevailed, and she's home!

She left a very dangerous/difficult situation a few states away, and came back here a month ago, ready to start college and be a part of the family again, and ready to worship God again, acknowledging that He is the One who brought her out of the pit...

Keep remembering that His love for her is even greater than your own, and keep praying...

Love,
Alyson

Alyson,

It is so good to connect with you again!
Wow! You HAVE been through it!
God bless you.
Thanks again for your encouragement. It really does help to know that I am not alone in this. You are so right. It gives me the peace that I sometimes struggle to find, to remember that my God really DOES sooooo love my girl and my boy and so much more deeply than I - I sure do have to be reminded of that again and again- guess I forget because of my own fierce love for them! He is quite capable!
His Love is just the thing I need it to be right now....disarming!

Bless you Alyson,
Mindy

Mindy --

It is good to reconnect!

Been through it in more ways than I can count, and you know what? He IS faithful! And His love is unfailing. Which I knew before in my head, but now know absolutely deep down in my bones...if you know what I mean!

Trusting Him with my kids has been/is one of the hardest things; there is so much I want for them that I don't see happening after everything...but I am slowly learning that His love for them is not dependent on me; that He takes awfully good care of all of us...even if it isn't always in the way I imagine it will be, or on the schedule I have set up in my own head. The discrepancies speak, I think, to the places I am not in synch with Him -- not listening, or not obeying, or...

You know something? This "being a Christian" thing is sure not the easiest way to live...but I'm finding that it is the most satisfying, exhilerating...and challenging.

Love,
Alyson